Feeling G-ill-ty

I am home sick from work today. Legitimately, grossly ill. I've been feeling terrible since last night. What I find interesting is that I am not only feeling bad physically, but morally as well.

When did it become the norm to feel guilty about getting sick? This situation is, of course, directly related to my place of business. The last thing I want to do at any point in time is make any of my coworkers' lives any more difficult, up to and including having to rearrange their schedules due to my absence. That being said, I'm the one barfing my brains out.

I'm sure it doesn't help that I've had to miss a couple of random days over the last couple of months due to another random bout of sickness as well as a minor injury.

So, who else has experienced this phenomenon? How have you dealt with it?

Am I A Selfish Person?

For most of my adult life, I have taken some amount of pride in the fact that I would generally consider myself to be a gracious, giving person. On the whole, I tend to put the consideration of others before my own. I have always assumed that this would make me the opposite of "selfish." However, upon further pondering, I have begun to question whether this, in an of itself, is ultimately a form of selfishness.

In many aspects of my life, I frequently go out of my way to do things for others; At work, I regularly make it a point to assist both students and coworkers, whenever the opportunity arises. I would do anything for my friends at the drop of a hat. In my marriage, I almost always put my wife's wants and feelings before my own. The deeper question ultimately becomes; Why?

If I really break it down, my motivation for doing this is clear; to make other people happy. Therein, however, lies the rub. Making other people happy makes me feel good. And there, right there, is where the selfishness aspect comes in. Ultimately, I suppose I'm not doing it for them, but for myself. If it didn't make me feel good, either immediately or later in a more indirect way, would I still do it? I can't say with certainty. Possibly not.

And so, again, the question remains, and I will offer it to you: Does this ultimately make me a selfish person?